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It’s hard being a mom. No matter what you do, it always feels like you’re falling short somewhere. Someone or something always needs your attention. It’s common to feel like you’re failing, but don’t let that feeling take over your life. You are a good mom whether you see it now or not.
Being a good mom doesn’t mean you are making millions of dollars, taking your kid(s) on lavish vacations, or buying them brand-name clothes. While that might seem nice to some people, these do not measure your worth as a mother or as a human whatsoever. What you give to your kid(s) in love, support, and attention will far outweigh anything that is associated with financial success.
Your kids want you, plain and simple. The fact that you are asking if you are a good mom already means you are one. The goal isn’t to be a perfect mom but a mom who tries. You’ve got this!
Related: Can Babies Feel Love? 5 Signs Your Baby Trusts You
6 Ways to Tell if You Are A Good Mom
The following is a list of what makes you a good mom. Keep in mind that no one’s own definition can determine your worth. These are just simple ways to encourage you to keep going.
You Love Your Kid(s)
As obvious as this sounds, if you love your kid(s), then you’re already winning in the “good mom” category. Showing your kids love and care every day, even when it’s hard, is the number one way to ensure your kids have an exceptional mom.
You are their biggest role model; don’t let your fears or anxieties about being good enough cast a shadow on all of the wonderful things you are doing as a mother.
You Worry
As a mom of three, there is never a time when I am not worried. There is always something to worry about, whether it be the kids, the house, the animals, my husband, or myself. But that just means I care enough about all of it that I want the best for everyone.
When you find yourself worried about your kids, it’s a sign that you are invested in them and their well-being. You want what is best for them, and that is what being a mom is all about.
Related: How to Stay Happy and Healthy as a Mom
You’re Tired
Tired is the understatement of the century when it comes to motherhood. Even if your child is sleeping through the night, you’re still the one they rely on for everything else during the day. Tweens and teens are no exception.
Let’s face it, Mama… being tired means you are a good mom. You are the one who is making sure your kiddos are getting where they need to be, cooking meals for them, doing the laundry, and taking on the mental load that isn’t talked about. You are tired because you care.
You Listen
Listening is an art. Instead of waving your kids off, you listen to what they have to say, what they need, and what their minds are processing (despite the endless “why” questions). You listen because you want to make sure your children’s needs are met, and you want what is best for them.
You Learn from Your Kids
When parents approach parenthood with the notion that they can’t learn from their kiddos, then they are closing themselves off to some great learning opportunities. You are a good mom because you care to learn from your kids at all stages of their lives. From newborns through their adulthood, you learn something new about them every day.
Related: Finding a Balance with Children
You Try
The most important part of motherhood is trying. You try every day to do your best. Maybe every day isn’t the best, but you are trying to make it. You are trying to provide and make the right choices. You are trying to teach them and encourage them. This is what matters most. Keep showing up for them.
How to Care for Yourself as a Mom
Now that you know you are a good mom, it’s time to learn how you can take care of yourself so that you can continue being the best mom for your kids. Remember, it’s not about being perfect but being present.
Exercise
You don’t have to run a marathon every day or become a bodybuilder. However, learning how to incorporate some form of exercise into your routine will make all of the difference. It’s important that you keep your body healthy and moving in order to feel your best so that you can be the best for your kids.
Hydrate
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself being grouchy or suffering from a headache because I hadn’t hydrated all day. Hydration is key to helping your body function properly every day. This helps you continue to be a good mom because your body isn’t depleted, and you can focus well.
Related: The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Depression Guide
Spend Quality Time with Yourself
In other words, “self-care.” But more than going out for a pedicure or enjoying a face mask at home. Spending quality time with yourself means taking time to remember who you are, separate from motherhood. When you can enjoy something away from motherhood, it helps refresh you, and you come back to your kiddos with a full cup.
A simple walk around the neighborhood, a coffee date with a friend, meditation, or some journaling each day can go a long way. Find what makes you happy and pencil it in as often as you can.
Take Breaks
Being a mom is a lot of pressure. It’s important that you have time to take breaks away from everyone constantly needing you. In addition, you need breaks away from the responsibilities of work and managing a house. Your mental health will thank you.
Ask for Help
Asking for help is how a good mom can survive the motherhood days. You can’t do it all on your own. Ask your spouse/partner for help in areas that are overwhelming to you. Schedule a babysitter to come and stay with the kids while you go out. Ask family/friends to help with cooking meals.
Whatever you think would help you, ask for it. Your family and friends want you to succeed. Let them help you do that.
Related: Recognizing and Reducing the Effects of Parental Stress on Children
You Are a Good Mom No Matter What
No matter how much money you make, how fancy your car is, or how big your home is, you are a good mom. When you just show up and show love, your kids will thrive from that. You are a good mom because you care.
Don’t let the world around you get too loud telling you that you are not enough. Life has seasons that are harder than others. But that doesn’t take away from how much you are doing for your kids. Keep being present for them. Everything else will fall into place. You can do this!
