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Hey, Mama…
Are you struggling this holiday season? Maybe it’s postpartum depression, maybe it’s just feeling overwhelmed, or maybe you just don’t feel jolly. You know what? It’s okay! You don’t have to feel whatever you don’t want to feel during the holidays.
I am a mom of three, which means I have had three postpartum experiences. The hardest one was my first. My son was born in the middle of November, so that meant all of the holidays landed in the freshest parts of my motherhood journey. And it was not easy!
Try as I might, I didn’t feel jolly during any of his first holiday celebrations. I was sleep-deprived, anxious, overwhelmed, and underprepared. It was HARD. Come to find out later on that I was struggling with postpartum depression and had no clue. That may or may not be relevant to you. Maybe you don’t have PPD, but you’re tired, drained, and burned out.
This post is meant to be a letter to all moms struggling during the holiday season. As much as we want to make all the magic happen for our babies, it’s okay if you don’t feel up to it this time. Prioritize rest and make the most of the little things instead.
Related: The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Depression Guide
How to Cope with Postpartum Depression During the Holidays
As I said, you may or may not be struggling with postpartum depression. However, these tips will be helpful regardless.
Rest
This probably sounds impossible to you as a mom, but prioritizing rest will be your friend this holiday season. There is no need to rush from here to there and everywhere in between. When your body and mind are rested, everything else falls into place.
Take naps when you can, sleep in when possible, or just lounge on the couch binging your favorite shows or holiday movies. Your body will thank you for the extra time you spend off of your feet.
Don’t Set Expectations
What made me feel worse when I was struggling with postpartum depression during the holidays was setting expectations and then failing to meet them. To be fair, they weren’t realistic expectations whatsoever. I mean, what infant cares about going to see Santa or baking holiday cookies anyway?
However, my mom brain was telling me that I had to do all of these things or else my baby wouldn’t have a good holiday season. I just had to start traditions as early as possible.
Truthfully, I didn’t want to do anything. Trying to survive the holiday season was about all I could do. And there’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what you can do this year.
Related: How to Thrive During the Holidays as a New Mom
Stay Off of Social Media
Speaking of unrealistic expectations… stay off of social media this holiday season. There is nothing worse than feeling like you’re failing when everyone else seems to be thriving and enjoying the holidays. Don’t even invite that noise into your life.
Unplug and be present with your little one(s) instead. They don’t care about anything except spending time with you. Stop comparing yourself. Turn off the noises of Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and whatever else is out there. Just focus on those in your home.
Ask for Help
It’s hard to ask for help, especially in a society that promotes mothers as superheroes who can do everything by themselves. Spoiler alert: we can’t! It’s impossible.
However, when you ask for help, you are acknowledging your strength. Let those who love you spend time helping you. You don’t know how much this means to them! No matter how big or small the help is, we all need it.
Communicate
Talking through your thoughts, desires, and needs is the only way your spouse/partner, friends, and family will understand what you are experiencing. You don’t have to put on a brave face. Sometimes just saying something out loud is enough to help you feel better.
Keep communication open with all those who care for you. If you feel the need, you can also reach out to your provider to let them know how you are feeling and inquire about having an assessment done, if needed.
Related: 14 Christmas Gift Ideas for Moms: How to Shop for Pregnant and Postpartum Women
Join a Group
Joining a group with other moms can be helpful. When you are involved with others who are going through the same things you are going through, it can be therapeutic. There is no judgment, just camaraderie. You never know who could benefit from your experiences and your words of encouragement.
Consider virtual groups like those you can find on Facebook. You can also find in-person groups that meet up and share together. Whatever your preference, it’s beneficial to find a group to help you with postpartum depression during the holidays.
Get Fresh Air
Make time outside a priority during the holidays. Yes, it’s often cold during the last part of the year (it is winter season, after all). However, fresh air helps clear the mind and renew your inner peace. Nature has an amazing way of recharging you.
Bundle up if it’s cold out, grab a warm drink, and take a walk around your neighborhood. If you can’t go alone, then bundle the baby up in the stroller and take him or her along with you. The point is to get some fresh air and vitamin D to help boost your mood and mental health.
Stay Hydrated
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a bad mood because of dehydration. I become nauseated and my head starts hurting. From there, it just spirals down to everything being annoying. All of it could have been avoided if I had started my day with some water.
Create hydration habits to keep you feeling well during the holidays. While water and electrolytes won’t cure postpartum depression, you can at least give yourself a fighting chance by giving your body what it needs to function properly.
If water is too bland and boring for you, grab some hydration packs from NEEDED. These hydration packs are naturally flavored with fruit only (aka no artificial sweeteners or added sugar). They provide electrolytes, nutrients, and trace minerals that are effective in keeping moms hydrated and feeling well. Use code postpartumsam for your exclusive discount and give them a try.
Related: Postpartum Nutrition: What Mothers Need After Giving Birth
Limit the Sweets
I know it’s so tempting to want to eat all of the sweets during the holidays. But having too much sugar can give you those sugar highs and then crash right after. In addition, too much sugar can cause mood swings, irritability, and brain fog. Feel your best during the holidays by staying away from sweets, or at least limiting yourself.
Cry
Lastly, just let it out! It’s okay to cry. When you try your best to keep it all together and force yourself to be jolly when you don’t want to be, you’re just prolonging the inevitable. You might even be surprised to learn that crying actually releases feel-good chemicals– like oxytocin and endorphins– into your body.
Cry if you need to! It’s okay, Mama. Motherhood is hard. Postpartum depression is hard. You are not alone.
You Don’t Have to Be Jolly if You Don’t Want to Be
Telling yourself that you have to be jolly in order to enjoy the holidays as a mom is a lie. You can take it easy this season. Don’t focus on all the things that you aren’t doing. Instead, focus on how you are bonding with your baby and how you are taking care of yourself this holiday season.
The holidays are about being thankful for what you have. That’s it. Whether you are one week postpartum or 12 months postpartum, give yourself permission to rest and relax during these last months of the year. There is no timeline that you have to meet. Do what works best for you and your family.
Wishing you a peaceful holiday season, Mama!
Related: The First Month Postpartum: What to Expect After Birth
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