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Last Updated on February 20, 2025 by Samantha Flores
It takes two to make a baby. While you as the pregnant mom are the one doing the majority of the work to bring this baby earthside, it doesn’t have to be all up to you to recover fully postpartum. Your partner can help you postpartum as well.
Your body will experience significant trauma during childbirth. It will take time to heal from this experience. However, what many expecting moms don’t plan for is the additional recovery that will be needed well past the six-week check-up.
It doesn’t matter if this is your first or umpteenth pregnancy; preparing for postpartum is the best thing you can do for your family. Remember that recovering from pregnancy and birth can take some women months or even years to feel like themselves again in their bodies and in their minds. You are important; don’t hesitate to ask your partner to help you postpartum.
Related: Postpartum Relationship Problems: How to Overcome the Heartache
7 Ways Your Partner Can Help You Postpartum
Discover how you can involve your partner in your postpartum journey. Use the list below as a guideline to help your partner understand what you need from them.
Let You Rest
The best thing you can do at any point in your postpartum journey is to rest. This includes the immediate postpartum phase as well as months later when your body is still depleted of nutrients following pregnancy. The best way to recover is to give your body a chance to rest and relax.
As unfair as some may think, it’s important that your partner helps you get as much rest as possible. Even the most engaged spouse won’t experience the nutrient deficiency, breastfeeding demand (if applicable), and sleep deprivation that you as the mother will experience.
Now, before you come at me with the whole “We share duties” argument, I am not saying that your spouse or partner isn’t doing their fair share. But I am recognizing that you and this beautiful baby have developed an attachment and bond during their life in utero and now outside that they will almost always require more energy and attention from Mama than from Daddy.
My point here is to recognize that mothers will need to be reminded to rest and this need for rest will extend for likely the first 12 months of your baby’s life.
Related: The 5-5-5 Postpartum Rule: What Is It and How to Use It
Cook Meals
Your partner doesn’t have to be Gordan Ramsey, but he can definitely chip in with cooking meals for you and your family while you rest and recover. You as the mother will need to ensure your nutrition is a priority. Your partner can help you postpartum by ensuring there is plenty of food for you to have during the day.
If your partner isn’t a fan of cooking or would rather not do it, then he can be responsible for setting up a meal train with family and friends to help you. You can also hire people like Laure Jackson who provides nutritious meal delivery services to postpartum families in the Austin, TX area.
Take Turns with Diapers
Splitting duties is a great way to heal postpartum. However, many moms report that they feel they do the majority of the diaper changes. Consider asking your partner to help out in the diapering area.
When your spouse/partner helps with diapering, this can be a chance for you to get a break and a few minutes to yourself. Grab a glass of water, read a couple of pages in a favorite book, or snack on a treat. Diapering doesn’t take long, but every few minutes you can get to yourself can add up.
Listen to You
Postpartum is a journey; it’s not something that is over within a few days or weeks. You will go through a tremendous identity transformation each time you become a mom. It’s not easy to let go of the person you were and allow the new person to take over. Therefore, you will need to talk about your thoughts, feelings, and emotions about this process.
Your partner can help you postpartum by being there for you with a listening ear. He doesn’t need to provide any advice or solutions to fix it. He simply needs to be present and understanding in allowing you to process what you are experiencing. This is probably one of the most often overlooked parts of postpartum.
Related: Postpartum Depression: The Signs of Living with PPD
Encourage You to Talk to a Professional
In addition to being an ear for you, your partner can help you postpartum by encouraging you to speak with a mental health professional. There may be topics that your spouse doesn’t want to talk about or can’t understand. Therefore, you need to talk with someone who can help you dive into those topics.
Talking to a professional is also a great way to catch postpartum depression or anxiety sooner rather than later. Take the time to engage with the professional and really allow yourself to open up. The best way to get the right help is by being honest.
Provide Comfort
Your partner wants what is best for you. You have grown, birthed, and are now nurturing his child. Let him be the person you lean on when you need comfort. Being a mother is hard; you don’t have to be alone in this.
Care for Older Kids
As I mentioned, I have three kiddos. Each time we added another baby to the mix, it was time to divide and conquer. He would care for the older kid(s) while I tended to the baby. It worked for us and it is a great strategy to use for recovery.
Be mindful that your partner gets time with the baby, too. This is why I recommended earlier in the post that you take turns with diapering experiences. This can be a great moment to bond together. There are also other things your partner can do with the baby to help with bonding. It’s about finding the right balance so that you can recover well after birth.
Related: Preparing for Baby #2: How is it Different from Your First?
Your Partner Can Help You Postpartum In Many Ways
You are not alone. As isolating and confining as the postpartum period can feel, you have the support of your spouse/partner. Neither of you will have all of the answers and you are both learning along the way. However, working together will be to everyone’s benefit. Let your partner help you postpartum.
This is a special season. It is also a difficult one, but it is just that: a season. Work together, get rest, focus on your health, and everything will come together. When it all feels too big and too much to handle, just focus on one hour at a time. You’ve got this!
